I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
