WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize