can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
