porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i think my cat just said my name.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
