Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
