I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
