I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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