WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
