the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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