"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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