What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
