i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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