her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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