his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The Olympian is in my bed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize