I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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