no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
