I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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