this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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