So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
