She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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