I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
