Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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