She's JV to your varsity
the condom got lost in my hair
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
