her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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