Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize