I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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