I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
