omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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