Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
