SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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