She went from zero to smokin in five shots
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
