Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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