why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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