dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
