When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
