We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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