I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
