so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
