Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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