So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
