just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
