fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
