I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
