I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
