From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
