OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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