They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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