Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
