that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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