I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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