Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
