There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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