She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
