It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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