Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
