He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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