so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
