Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
