My room smells like vodka and shame
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize